The Recognition Trap: Why Treating Everyone the Same Might Backfire

Picture this: A company rolls out a new recognition scheme. Every time someone hits a target, they get the same John Lewis voucher. Simple, right? Some people are thrilled — who doesn’t love a treat from John Lewis? But others quietly wish they could choose their own reward. A few say they’d rather celebrate as a team than get individual prizes. And some of the younger crowd are left wondering… does it all have to be so formal?

This is the tricky thing about recognition. The more we try to make it "fair" by treating everyone the same, the more it could actually feel unfair.

The Fairness Illusion

For decades, HR teams across the UK have followed a familiar rule: if we treat everyone the same, it’s fair. Same rules, same rewards, same recognition. It feels safe. But… what if it’s not quite right?

Recent research from Westminster Business School tells a different story. When academics studied over 25,000 employees, they discovered something surprising: recognition only drives engagement when employees perceive it as fair. And here's the catch: what feels fair to one person often feels unfair to another.

Think of it like hosting a dinner party. You could order the same pizza for everyone — simple and consistent. But what if someone’s dairy-free? Another hates mushrooms? And someone else is all about spicy toppings?

Now imagine you ask what people like before ordering. Suddenly, you’ve got a mix of options — and everyone feels seen, considered, and appreciated.

That’s the difference between treating everyone the same and treating everyone fairly. In today’s workplace, the personal touch matters more than ever.

Why One-Size-Fits-None

The old-school, one-size-fits-all approach to recognition falls short, and here’s why:

1. It overlooks cultural differences. Most teams today include people from all over the world — different backgrounds, different values, different ways of feeling appreciated. But many recognition schemes still assume there's one “right” way to say well done. Spoiler: there isn’t.
2. It ignores generational needs. Younger team members often appreciate quick, informal shoutouts — a thumbs-up emoji, a message on Teams. Older employees might prefer something more formal and meaningful, like a written thank-you or public acknowledgment. If everyone gets the same thing, no one really gets what they need.
3. It can actually widen existing gaps. UK studies show that 53% of men say they receive regular recognition, compared to just 41% of women. Standardised programs don’t fix that — they risk reinforcing it, especially if the same people are always being noticed in the same ways.

The Hidden Cost of Rigidity

When researchers studied 3,400 UK workers, they found something pretty eye-opening: only 10% had ever been asked how they actually like to be recognised. And yet, when people do get recognition in a way that feels right to them, they’re 45% less likely to leave for another job.

Picture this: two employees both smash their targets.

• Priya prefers a quiet thank-you in her inbox and an early Friday finish.
• James loves the spotlight and lives for a big moment at the monthly town hall.

But under a “one-size-fits-all” approach, both get called out at the town hall. James is buzzing. Priya’s cringing. One feels seen, the other sidelined.

Same gesture. Totally different reactions. Because what really matters isn’t just that you recognise people — it’s how.

The Flexibility Framework

The answer isn’t to throw fairness out the window, it’s to rethink what fairness actually means. The best recognition programs we’ve seen in the UK take a Fixed Principles, Flexible Delivery approach.

Here’s how it works:

Set clear, consistent principles (the Fixed):

• Recognition should always link to meaningful behaviours and goals
• It should happen regularly, across all teams
• Everyone should understand the “why” behind it

Then build in flexibility (the Flexible):

• Let people choose between public praise or a private thank-you
• Give managers the freedom to recognise achievements in real time
• Respect cultural and religious differences in how recognition is given
• Offer options for how and when it’s delivered

Think of it like football. The rules of the game stay the same : that’s fairness. But every player brings their own style to the pitch: that’s flexibility.

Recognition should work the same way: grounded in clear values, but personal enough to actually mean something.

Here’s how it works:

Set clear, consistent principles (the Fixed):

• Recognition should always link to meaningful behaviours and goals
• It should happen regularly, across all teams
• Everyone should understand the “why” behind it

Then build in flexibility (the Flexible):

• Let people choose between public praise or a private thank-you
• Give managers the freedom to recognise achievements in real time
• Respect cultural and religious differences in how recognition is given
• Offer options for how and when it’s delivered

Think of it like football. The rules of the game stay the same — that’s fairness. But every player brings their own style to the pitch — that’s flexibility.

Recognition should work the same way: grounded in clear values, but personal enough to actually mean something.

Making It Work for Your Team

So, how do you actually put flexible fairness into practice? Here’s where to start:

1. Begin with discovery

Don’t guess — ask. Find out how your people like to be recognised. Build simple preference profiles that managers can refer to, and keep them fresh with annual check-ins. It’s low effort, high impact.

2. Equip managers to recognise differences

Managers play a big role here. They need to understand both the company’s core values and the individual needs of their team. The goal? Turning broad principles into moments that feel personal and meaningful.

3. Measure how it feels

It’s not just about who got a shoutout this quarter. It’s about whether people feel the system is fair. According to CIPD research, perceived fairness often matters more than ticking process boxes.

4. Keep pace with a changing workforce

What worked in the more uniform workplaces of the ‘90s won’t cut it now. Today’s teams are diverse in every sense — background, culture, generation. Yet only 25% of UK employers use data to shape their recognition approach. Want to stand out? Be part of the 25%.

The Path Forward

Professor Peter Urwin's decade-long study of 51 UK law firms revealed a crucial insight: successful recognition requires evidence-based, tailored approaches rather than generic solutions. This is especially critical as lower-status professional groups consistently report feeling undervalued by standardised programs.

True fairness in workplaces isn't about identical treatment, it's about equitable impact. It means ensuring that whether someone is 25 or 55, whether they're an introvert or extrovert, they have equal opportunity to feel valued in a way that resonates.

The Bottom Line

The UK organisations getting this right aren’t picking between consistency and flexibility — they’re making space for both. They stick to clear principles to avoid bias and stay compliant, but give teams the freedom to recognise people in ways that genuinely feel good.

And it really works! These companies see 19% higher operating income than those with rigid programs, and they’re 1.6 times better at spotting and fixing inequalities.

Recognition isn’t one-size-fits-all. What makes one person feel appreciated might completely miss the mark for someone else — and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to treat everyone the same, but to make sure everyone feels equally valued.

You wouldn’t hand someone a cup of tea when they’ve asked for coffee. So why recognise everyone in the same way?

Fairness isn’t about sameness. It’s about giving each person the kind of appreciation that makes them feel seen, celebrated, and ready to do their best work.